


Summertime Sadness

by SarcasticFallenAngel



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: "Good Boy", Angst, Because I haven't read the book yet, Don't Ask, Fluff after all them sadness and angst, Gaybies, Getting shocked, Hurt/Comfort, I simply Imagined Micheal calling him that, I'm awful with titles, Jeremy is Sappy, M/M, Michael is simply Micheal, Musical Jeremy Heere, Musical Michael Mell, My first ever BMC Fanfiction, Nightmares, PTSD, Post-Squip, Self Loathing, The squip is an asshole but I still love him, Trigger Warnings, Update:I've finally read the book, and writing, awkward first kiss, breakdown - Freeform, but i want to contribute to the fandom, but it was still perfect for them, cuz if there wasn't why would the title be summer time sadness?, fluffy fluff fluff, kind of, like TOOTH ROTTING fluff, mentions of depression, my gay sons, shirtless Jeremy and Michael, so much after fluff, these two will be the death of me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-07 12:37:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11059116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasticFallenAngel/pseuds/SarcasticFallenAngel
Summary: Summer is here with all its glory and scorching sun. It's been a while since the whole Squip incident and things seemed to go back to normal for Michael and Jeremy. It's the last day of school and the two friends decide not to waste even a single second, heading to Mells house to play the day away...or at least that was the plan.Michael can't help but notice his friend has been spacing out a lot, confronting him only reassures him that there's something up with Jeremy but, what is it? Michael fears the worst.





	Summertime Sadness

**Author's Note:**

> Welp! Here we go~  
> Also, note that I have absolutely no idea at what date/time the Squip was deactivated, so just bare with my f*cked up timeline.  
> So this is my first fanfic for the BMC fandom, I just couldn't help myself after practically reading every single Boyf_riends fanfic I could find here in AO3.  
> Anyways, I'm a very crappy writer but I still hope you like the story.
> 
> Also, trigger warnings:  
> PTSD (kind of)  
> Mental Breakdown  
> Nightmares  
> Self-loathing  
> Mentions of abuse  
> Mentions of "Shock Therapy"

It was finally summer! Which meant no school, no more stressing over homework, projects or any sort of grade. It also meant no more interaction with other students and no worrying about what you would say or how you'd act since there was no one for you to feel judged. As good as it sounded, not everything was perfect. Summer also meant a scorching sun, sweating like there was no tomorrow, a humid and hot atmosphere after the rare occurrence of rain that left you feeling like you couldn't breathe right, and to top it all off if you didn't have an A/C at home, then staying in was pretty worse than going out. But, who was crazy enough to stay in without and air conditioner? Surely no one was that out their mind, right? Well, no.

Jeremy and Michael were currently not only in the basement of the latter, but this place was also, to top it off, the hottest room in the house because of its location and the lack of windows. They were also eating fresh out of the oven pizza, just because the two had a craving for it and weren't going to let the heat stop them from eating what they wanted. They regretted it at times, but at the end, they both came to the conclusion that it was certainly worth it, even if the room felt like a sauna and the two of them were sweating as if they were in one.

Surprisingly enough the room didn't smell all that bad and they could still enjoy their gaming session and the others company, but that could be simply attributed to the fact that both teens were always happy when they spent time with each other. They weren't in the basement for long but the temperature was bothering enough for Michael to pause the game, postponing their mission to pass level 31 of "Apocalypse of the Damned", so he could take off his shirt.

Jeremy's gaze almost immediately fixed on Micheal. Trying not to stare too intensely he would occasionally glance at the wall or the floor, keyword, trying. But, who could blame Heere? His friend although not completely in shape had a good build, with just enough softness around the stomach and hips to make him look so perfect for cuddling. His tanned skin was smooth caramel-like, pearls of sweat rolling down his back and arms making them shiny. Quite a sight to admire, but not in a homosexual way, no not like that. It wasn't like Jeremy noticed that sometimes he would stare at his friend for long periods of time wondering what it would be to hold his hand, cuddle him, or that he never really acknowledged how attractive he was, or the way his heart seemed to flutter whenever Michael laughed or how kissable his lips looked, God damn it why did his lips look so kissable!?

"Enjoying the view?" If Jeremy didn't blush like no human had ever blushed in the history of mankind at that moment, then he didn't know what would make him do that.

"Obviously." He replied with a roll of his eyes, trying to play it _cool._ Although he did enjoy the view, it wasn't something he would admit, or at least not in that moment.

"That's pretty gay." Michael replied with a sincere chuckle. 

"I mean, _you're_ pretty gay."

Michael gasped with overdramatic indignation, looking over at his friend in mock hurt.

"How **dare** you say that." Jeremy simply rolled his eyes again, a fond smile on his lips. "But I guess I am, but just for you~ So you better fucking appreciate it."

The two stared at each other before bursting out into a fit of laughter, bending over themselves, feeling their stomachs hurt after a while. Jeremy began to wipe a couple of tears from his eyes when he noticed that Michael was looking at him with intrigue.

"What?" The other teen asked, feeling suddenly too aware of his friend's eye scanning him, it's not like it was the first time that Mell did that but recently he felt very self-aware when it happened. He would now notice how close they'd inch to each other when they played video games, almost sharing a beanbag, or the way that said closeness made their arms or legs brush against each other, how he could  feel the other's breath on his ear when he groaned in defeat or laughed whilst claiming victory. Okay, Jeremy perhaps was just a little gay or ¿bisexual? He didn't really care, the point was that he felt things for his friend that weren't really new, they were simply acknowledged just recently; More precisely since Jeremy and Christine tried to hit it off and failed miserably as they both realized that what they felt for each other was rather platonic. Something that they didn't expect but learned to cope with.

"Aren't you going to take it off?" The brunet finally asked, his words catching his friend off guard.

"Take it off?" The almost pale boy was beyond confused said confusion reflected on his face.

"Your shirt, I mean we both have lost at least half of the water in our body by now." Jeremy's expression dropped in an instant, panic settling itself deep in his bones as he instinctively hugged himself.

"N-No!" He neglected a bit too quickly, earning a concerned look. "I-I mean, no. I'm fine I...I'm already used to the weather, really." A nervous chuckle followed his words and although he knew Michael would notice something was up he really hoped he didn't.

"Right, so that's why it looks like you've just taken a shower...with your clothes on." Fuck why did he have to be such a bad liar?

"Y-Yes?" He couldn't come up with another lie or excuse, resigning himself to fidget with the damped hems of his long sleeved shirt. Jeremy knew that sooner or later he would have to take off his shirt, he simply didn't expect it would be that soon. Now, the problem wasn't the fact that he and Michael would be naked from the waist up, they had been like that countless times, some with even fewer clothes on -not in a sexual way that is-. The problem wasn't that he was uncomfortable about his body, yes he was somewhat self-conscious about his image since he wasn't really in shape but he never felt like that around Michael, that's just how comfortable he was around him. No, the problem was that there were some _things_ he would rather spare his friend finding out about.

"Dude, what's wrong? I mean, you never seemed to mind being shirtless around me, are you...uncomfortable now?" It could have easily been his imagination or him being desperate for some reciprocation on his less platonic feelings, but he could swear he heard some disappointment in his voice along with worry. Guilt struck him not a second later, he didn't want to make Michael feel like he was a problem, not again, not ever.

"No! It's...it's not that. Dude, you're the only one I'm completely comfortable with. It's just that I..." A desperate and frustrated sigh escaped his lips as he combed his fingers through his hair, pulling it back and out of his face.

"It's what? Is it back!?"

"God no! No the...it's not back but..."

"It has to do with it?" A nod. Since almost half a year ago, when they had managed to shut off the Squip, the whole topic had been avoided. It seemed like a silent yet mutual agreement not to talk about it but, saying that the two of them weren't scared that it would somehow come back would be a gigantic lie.

"Just ... I don't, just don't freak out okay?" Heere asked for, receiving a short affirmative nod. His hands moved down, fingers curling at the hem of his shirt. He took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly, stripping out of his shirt. With the pressure of the fabric and the extra warmth it created, the heat felt at the very least bearable. The sweat soaked shirt was left on the floor as he kind of shifted on the beanbag, looking down at the floor while he waited for a reaction. 

It took Michael less than a minute to notice what was wrong. At first, he hadn't seen it thanks to the angle of where he was sitting, but after turning a bit to his left side he saw them. Red marks ran down the center of Jeremy's back to his sides and some even managing to reach his hips. The marks...No, the scars looked just like veins except for the fact that they were a red-pinkish color and that the skin over them was slightly swelled. It looked as if a Bindweed had made it's home underneath his skin, growing and stretching along his body. Without thinking about what he was doing Michael moved closer to his friend, using his fingertips to skim over some of the scars, both mesmerized and completely terrified. Jeremy's body jolted at the feather-like touch, both by habit and being surprised.

"Well, here I thought you were going to have a third arm or something like that. I mean, that would have been pretty cool." The brunet joked, trying to get the mood to lighten make it less awkward. He didn't like seeing the other boy like that. He would love to cradle Jeremy in his arms and whisper sweet nothings into his ear, wipe away his fears and kiss his insecurities to none existence.He wanted to run his fingers through Jeremy's hair and feel their bodies pressed together until there wasn't even an inch of space between them. Michael Mell was crushing hard on his best friend, he knew that since years ago, but he simply couldn't muster up enough courage to confess. He was scared of ruining their friendship, scared of being alone, of losing Jeremy once again.

"I wished." Jeremy replied with a soft laugh, the sensation of his best friends fingers on his skin oddly relaxing, his body pressing against the foreign fingertips without his consent.

"He...well, the Squip would shock me whenever I slouched. Said it was to fix my posture." He began explaining, his voice wasn't confident but at least it didn't waver. Even though he didn't like talking about anything that had to do with the Squip, he didn't like hiding things from Michael even more. "At first it was just because of my posture, then it happened whenever I stuttered." Michael looks at him in disbelief, It was true that his friend didn't stutter as much as before but he never imagined it was because of something like getting _shock-therapy_.

"Then it also started whenever I didn't obey... The voltage just got higher and higher and well...here I am." Heere concluded starting to feel very self-conscious once again. But he should relax ¿Right? After all, the Squip was gone and whatever happened was in the past, it shouldn't haunt him or still impact his life. It shouldn't keep him up at nights or make him wake up in a cold sweat, crying his eyes out hysterically because at times he can still hear it nagging at him. It shouldn't...but it did.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just... I just didn't want to make you worry. I've caused you enough problems already." He didn't mean it to sound as self-loathing as it did.

Michael was silent. He knew that Jeremy was still hard on himself, but he didn't imagine he had gone to the extent of keeping things bottled up. Before his friend would just rant and vent out with him, Michael would do the same and that's part of why they really needed the other because they could confide in no other person than each other. But now, Jeremy had locked himself in his own bubble, trying to make it seem as if absolutely everything was perfect when it was quite the contrary.

Yes, he had been absolutely devastated and mad because of the fight they'd had in Jakes Halloween party and being ignored, but he also knew that it wasn't entirely his fault, and he also knew Jeremy was truly sorry, after all, he had always been terrible at lying. He'd held a bit of a grudge after their confrontation when the Squip was still active, but as he began to think about everything that had happened he came to realize that Jeremy had simply reached his limit and lashed out at him for a lack of a better way to release the tension. No, that did not justify his actions or make them hurt less, but it did make them more understandable.

Neither of them knew what to say next, the room had gone very silent, an unnerving silence at that. Time ticked by impossibly slow between awkward glances and fidgeting in their spots. Michael thought of something, it was maybe a bit awkward but he didn't think anything else would be appropriate for the situation. With that in mind, he stood up and then kneeled in front of a confused Jeremy.

"What are you..." The question was cut short as soon as Mell wrapped his arms around the other's waist, pulling him close in a tender hug. There were some moments of hesitation but soon enough Jeremy corresponded the hug, wrapping his arms around his best friend and then burying his face into the crook of his neck. They stayed like that despite the overwhelming heat. It didn't take very long before Jeremy began crying, tears rolling down his cheeks and landing on Michaels skin, he was having a breakdown. Michael patted his back softly and when he found it adequate he began to comb his fingers through the other's hair, rocking their bodies back and forth in a slow rhythm.

"It's okay dude. I'm here, you're not losing me." He assured in a sweet tone, his words being replied with a loud sob.

"I'm sorry..."

"I know you are" He assured once again, feeling the other's body shake with every sob.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry Michael." Jeremy would keep apologizing as if the words had become his mantra. Michael could only provide sweet caresses and soft words of reassurance as his friend broke down in his arms. How long they stayed like that, neither could say. Jeremy's crying became louder and more pitiful as time went on, reaching a point where his body was shaking almost violently. It was clear he needed help, it had been clear since the first time he began crying in front of Michael and begging for forgiveness, it had been even clearer when Michael was there to see his friend waking up in the middle of the night in tears, so shaken and scared to do anything else that wasn't crying and hyperventilating. Right now, it was beyond clear that Jeremy needed professional help Pronto. But for now, Michael would have to suffice.

"Everything's out now?" He asked once Heere finally stopped shaking and the traces of tears had dried from his skin, still rubbing the others back reassuringly, eyeing him with a certain motherly worry.

"Yeah, I'm-"

"Sorry, I know. There's no need to apologize anymore, you know that. I'm not mad anymore bro, I just want to see you just like you were before the whole incident." They were still hugging each other, neither of them showing any sign of letting go just yet.

"But I-"

"No, this stops right now. I'm not letting you keep up with this."

"Michael just-"

"Nope! Not having any of that. Listen to me Jeremy Heere, I'm not letting you be so rough on yourself."

"No, look-"

"What did I just say, man!? You know what, stop. You are my best friend my player #1 and a person who I would die for. So stop with the self-loathing." One hand moved up, resting on Jeremy's cheek, so now the aforementioned couldn't turn his face even if he wants to.

"I get that you want to help but-"

"You are sweet and a good person that simply mad bad decisions. You're a good boy." After rethinking about what he said, Michael knew he could have phrased his thoughts better, but even so, his words seemed to be having an effect on Jeremy; His cheeks were tainted pink as he tried to avert his gaze, finally staying quiet.

"You're a good boy Jeremy, and I know you're sorry and just want to make things up for me." The aforementioned jolted when he felt the other teen rubbing softly as his cheeks, the sweet gaze he was getting from Michael almost making him melt right on the spot. He tried to separate from the taller teen but found it useless since the other didn't seem to be willing to let go of him anytime soon. 

"You're such a good boy." The half Filipino continued because God did Jeremy look beautiful when he was all flustered. "You're a good boy, you just need help to heal but you're good." Yes, he was probably risking their friendship right now but he simply couldn't stop himself. He knew that he was trekking a very thin line, but he didn't mind right now, he couldn't as long as he had Jeremy in his arms.

"Are you uncomfortable?" He asked just to make sure, the only reply he got was a shake of the others head. "Then it's something else?" No answer. He loosened his grip a bit, giving the other the choice to simply get away fo he wanted to, but they both knew he really didn't want to do so.

"d-don't continue." Jeremy practically whined, too cute to be true.

"Why not?" Michael questions, moving his hand to go into Jeremy's hair, combing his fingers through it and then giving it the slightest of tugs.  This wasn't just a friendly gesture, he was already overstepping their boundaries, but something in the way Jeremy reacted told him that maybe it was a good thing.

"F-Fuck..." The shorter one only managed to whimper, taking some moments to compose himself and continue. "Because it would be bad if I..." 

"If what?" Another gentle tug. A soft smirk spread across his lips when Heere glared at him for some moments, cheeks flushed.

"If I do something that ruins our friendship!" He blurted out, cheeks a deeper shade of red than before if it was even possible. The sudden declaration left Michael speechless. To say that he imagined finally confessing to his friend and long time crush in a situation like the current one would be false. Yet, it seemed like the perfect moment to do it. 

"Like what?" The taller one almost dared; Heart pounding rapidly in his chest when he saw the unmistakable glimmer of longing in Jeremy's blue eyes. Those same eyes that until then had only stared back at him with fondness and platonic love now filled with want and need, icy blue eyes staring at him so vulnerable and honest.

"Something like...like this." Without another word Jeremy leaned in on his best friends face, lips barely brushing in a chaste kiss. It didn't have anything in it to make it amazing or special, the heat was horrible, the two were now very sticky in both tears and sweat, Jeremy's lips were somewhat chapped not to mention that they had touched Michaels lips at best 5 seconds...but it indeed was amazing. It was the relief of finding that after a long time of pinning for the other without hope of being more than friends, the other felt the same. It was soft and honest, it sends a momentary yet overwhelming spark down their spine and even though it was also somewhat awkward, it was perfect like that.

"Did you just..." It was almost impossible to get the words out, feeling as if his vocal cords had suddenly stopped working.

"Yeah, I-I did." The feeling of the gentle kiss still lingering on their lips as a faint tingle.

"So, you um..."

"Like you?"

"Yes."

"No..."

"No!? then why did you-"

"I love you."

"Oh...?"

"I don't like you, I love you, Michael Mell." He admitted, a goofy smile on his lips. "I guess I've done so since a long time ago, but I...but I simply didn't know it."

"I love you too Jeremy Heere, even if you just said the sappiest thing I have ever heard in my life."

"Was not!" Yet again he whined, earning a chuckle from the other.

"Totally was, you dork~" Jeremy was going to make a comeback but before his words even left his mouth a pair of soft lips were pressed against his once again. Since his arms were wrapped around Michael he didn't have to worry about what to do with his hands. The only problem was that their noses were kind of bumping into each other and Michaels glasses were poking at their skin too. In an attempt to make things more comfortable Jeremy tilted his head to the side, successfully fixing the whole ordeal. The kiss was still gentle and chaste, but it wasn't less amazing than the last one, the gentle pressure of their lips felt so nice and it sends a wave of a different type of warmth coursing through their bodies. Yes, it was a bit awkward, not because their friendship had ended, but because it was still there but it was now part of something more intimate.

"Hey, Jer?"

"Yeah?"

"Gaaaaaaaay~"

"Oh my...Shut the fuck up!" Jeremy exclaimed in laughter, untangling his arms from his now boyfriends wait, shoving him by the shoulder playfully, with little to none force.

"Love you too, Jere~" Michael simply replied with a playful grin, placing a sweet kiss on his boyfriend's forehead. God, It felt so nice to be able to use that word,  _boyfriend._ Jeremy was  _his boyfriend._

"Love you, Mikey~" With a smirk of his own Jeremy kissed Micheals nose. He knew that this wasn't the end of his problems, it wasn't the last time he would have a breakdown and it certainly wasn't the last time the Squip still haunted him. But for once, he felt like he was okay, with Michael he knew he would more than just survive. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, that happened.  
>  I don't think this is going to happen but, if you want me to write more of these gay bros, just leave me a comment, I also take requests.  
>  or you can go [harass me on Tumblr ](http://sarcasticfallenangel.tumblr.com/). I'm always happy to talk to someone. Ps: I apologize for any typo you may find or any error, English technically isn't my mother/first language and I'm not 100% confident in it. But yeah, I did my best and I really hope you enjoyed it.  
> 
> 
> Constructive Criticism is totally appreciated!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the fic lads, gals, and non-binary pals~


End file.
